Father’s Day, Men and Billy Goats
By Robert Fontana
Father’s Day is approaching, and my thoughts turn to women who make it possible for men to be fathers, but more than that, to wives and partners who keep men from becoming like billy goats. Mattie Ross of True Grit fame -—she’s the young 14-year-old that hires Rooster Cogburn to go after Tom Chaney, her father’s murderer—- states what is common knowledge in fiction and non-fiction alike:
“Men will live like billy goats if they are left alone.”
When I read this, I decided to study up on billy goats to be sure I understood Mattie’s meaning. And I must say, after thorough and exhausting research, I’ve concluded that Mattie insulted billy goats. They are very intelligent creatures and left to themselves –- and let’s be honest here, we are referring to male goats; female goats are referred to as does or nannies –- billie goats, for the most part, make intelligent choices. Men, okay, let’s not generalize, many men, “left alone,” live like Rooster Cogburn, in their own filth.
“He stirred as I came through the curtain. His weight was such that the bunk was bowed in the middle almost to the floor. It looked like he was in a hammock. He was fully clothed under the covers… Rooster coughed and spit on the floor and rolled a cigarette and lit it and coughed some more… little brown drops of coffee clung to his mustache like dew. Men will live like billy goats if left alone.”
I was raised with eight men, six brothers and my dad. I shudder to think what our home would have looked like without Mom. One of my brothers, I won’t mention any names, told me that when he went off to college, he loved getting his bed sheets so coated with body oils from lack of washing that he could slide into bed.
Certainly Dad would have enforced some sort of hygiene requirements on his sons, and I know one particular brother would have helped him out, but the others of us, even as grown men, would have been Rooster Cogburn disciples.
God most surely knew this about men when he created Adam out of mud. Very quickly afterwards, according to the Bible, the Lord God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a suitable partner.”
What the Bible does not say is that Rooster Cogburn is a direct descendent of Adam and, according to Catholic teaching of original sin, inherited his lower-than-billy goat predisposition from the first man.
Adam had basically trashed the garden with banana peels and discarded beer jugs spread about and had started to show signs of poor health from smoking the tobacco leaf. Eve was a godsend to Adam. He perked up, trimmed his beard, and began mulching all parts of the vegetarian diet he (and she) could not eat.
Okay, sure she tricked him with that apple, but women aren’t perfect either. As we approach Father’s Day, the point is that the mothers of their children play a vital role in helping men to be good fathers! In fact, although there are exceptions to this axiom that I’m about to pronounce, the truth is: what makes good and involved fathers is a strong marriage with the mother of their children.
My dad was a great dad. He taught me how to ride a bike, throw a baseball, cast a fishing line, love music, and pray. But the best and most amazing gift he gave to me was his love for my mother. Together they created a stable (but not perfect, by any means) family, filled with all the fun and craziness of family life. Dad loved Mom in good times and in bad, and passed that lesson on to me and my brothers.
There is a segment of the male population that is behaving like Rooster Cogburn. We could ignore them but they are fathering children and acting worse than billy goats in taking care of them. The real crisis, however, is not that they are absent fathers, but that they are absent spouses. Do you want to be a great dad? Be a great spouse. Yes, be involved with your children, but most importantly, LOVE THEIR MOTHER! Happy Father’s Day.
Above photo: Copyright: <a href=’https://www.123rf.com/profile_gstockstudio’>gstockstudio</a>
