Catholic Life Ministries

By Robert Fontana

I know! It sounds like a nightmare! However, after being married for 45 years this August, and having now worked for many years as a therapist for couples, married and co-habiting, it is my experience that most spouses and partners would, at one time or another, say they would prefer to be married/partnered to oneself. This actually happened to Lori and me. 

We were going through some conflict, nothing major mind you. I was  working hard to be a good listener. It was a little challenging since I was standing outside in the howling winds of a snowstorm, the door double-locked, and Lori talking to me from the other side. Those details are unimportant. What’s important is that we were eventually able to sit down and talk. We each wrote down what we needed from the other.

Lori’s list was (and I am not making this up):

Þ When you say you’ll be home at 10 pm, Mr. Youth Minister, you’re home at 10 pm.

Þ When you come home at 10 pm, you do not wake the small children to play with them.

Þ If there are mounds of diapers to be folded and dishes to be washed, there is NO ROMANCE!

Þ If you write a check, record a check.

Þ If you record a check, record it correctly.

Þ If you balance the checkbook…JUST DON’T!!

My list was much shorter:

Þ Don’t sweat the small stuff. (Remember the book of the same name?)

Þ Let’s be flexible.

Þ Let’s play more.

Þ The dishes and diapers can wait…

We each read our list to the other and then started to laugh. Basically, Lori was saying she would prefer to be married to her, and I was saying that I would prefer being married to me. At that point, I heard a voice in my head, and I’m sure it was the Holy Spirit, say: “Now real love can happen in this marriage.” We knew right away what the voice meant. We really needed to accept each other as the other is. And if our needs are not being met, we had to learn how to communicate this to one another and negotiate to get to some common ground so that the marriage would always win. We had to stop the tug-of-war of “I’m not you, and you’re not me,” of pulling against one another; and we needed to do the hard work of pulling together by finding unity in all things.

John Gottman, a University of Washington researcher on love and marriage, wrote in his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, that 69% of the   conflicts between couples have nothing to do with “right or wrong.” They have everything to do with “I’m not you, and you are not me.” Couples who never learn this truth, remain in a tug-of-war, pulling against each other, until divorce or “death-do-they-part.” They convince themselves that their issues are really about “right or wrong;” but in truth, it’s mostly about “this is what I want, how I like it, how I was raised.” 

This tug-of-war marriage leaves one or both spouses feeling hurt, dismissed, and unloved. I have clients who are devout Christians, who have been married for 25, 30, or 40 years, and yet they are miserable in marriage. If their faith helps them at all, it is only to bear the cross of the other; it doesn’t seem to help them find unity, love, and friendship. Rather than learning to accommodate their differences and work for unity, these couples create a negative pattern or “dance” of interaction that they step into anytime they have a disagreement or conflict. Their negative dance reinforces the hurt, distance, and disconnection.

Successful couples learn that this tug-of-war must end. They learn through conflict that they are bumping into their differences. What is needed is effective listening to understand the other, and empathy to validate one another’s emotions. Healthy couples learn to say to one another, “I won’t let you win at my expense, and I won’t try to win at your expense. We are going to find common ground so that the marriage wins.”

Through different issues that have surfaced in our marriage, Lori and I have learned to desire unity over what each of us may prefer. This ranges from simple issues like how we are going to spend our evenings to complex issues like navigating a difficult topic within the family. We are motivated to find unity with whatever the current issue is because tomorrow there will be another issue…and the next day another one. Working for unity day-in and day-out creates a positive pattern or “dance” that reinforces love, friendship, emotional safety, and belonging. After almost 45 years of marriage, we go to bed at night with a profound sense of peace. We don’t have a perfect marriage, but we do have a successful one. Are there times when we don’t quite find unity on an issue, when we misunderstand one another and have hurt one another? Absolutely! But because of the positive dance we have created in our relationship, we are quick to repair, talk things through, learn from our mistakes, and forgive one another.

Unity does not mean uniformity. After all these years, we are still night and day different from one another. On our day off, Lori would prefer to begin it with a cup of coffee, time for prayer followed by time to work the crossword puzzle in the paper. I prefer to begin my day, after coffee, with a long quiet walk in the park. So we compromise, with coffee and prayer together, then her crossword puzzle, my walk. Seeking unity in all things means we strive for agreement on an issue. It also means that one or both of us might say, “I don’t like this decision, but I can live with it without resentment.” And the positive dance goes on!

I would hate to be married to me. Being married to Lori is way better!

Lori and I are helping our parish (Assumption Parish, Seattle) celebrate “Present Your Child to God Sunday” on February 19 (changed from Feb 5). We are going to have a grand procession with children ringing bells and waving streamers, and a trumpet player leading the pack playing “O When The Saints Go Marching In.” It ought to be fun.

In addition, we are trying to involve the youth and children in a meaningful way through an essay / poetry contest at the parish. The topic we have chosen is a real life issue, close to the heart of Pope Francis, “Care for the Earth.”

Our children are the Church of today (and not merely of the future). We can start treating them as such by asking them to think about and act on real issues that are critical to human survival like climate change and care for God’s creation.

CLM is hosting a separate poetry/essay contest for our readers and sponsors who do not attend Assumption. We invite you to ask your children or grandchildren to participate in the essay/poetry contest (CLM entries will be judged separately.) Begin by showing them a short (4-minute) video made for children, about Laudato Si, Pope Francis’ encyclical letter.

Go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOgF2Kgel6k   Then children can submit a poem or a 100-word essay on “what it means for you to ‘care for the earth’ during this time of climate crisis.

I showed this video to my grandchildren. Following it, they immediately set to work on writing something:

This is what 3^rd-grader Cora wrote: Save the Earth – The earth is a beautiful place full of life but humans are taking more than they need. All things need earth and they matter just much as you. You can help the earth. You can bring back the beauty. You can make a difference. You are special. So, bring back the lush green forest. Bring back the sparkling waters and peaceful animals. Bring back earth. Plant a garden. Feed the birds.

And 1^st-grader, Rose:  The Earth – Trees, flowers. All things are beautiful. Everyone matters. You matter. We have light in the darkness. We can make the earth better.

3rd-grader, Linus wrote a haiku: Caring for the Earth – Be kind to the earth. Just do it! Do it! Do it! Give back to the earth.

Your youth and/or children can win prizes (they won’t be competing with the Fontana grands).

First place: $25   Second Place: $15   Third place: $10

So please sit down with them, show them the video, and encourage them to write a poem or essay on “Care for the Earth.” Scan and email the essay or poem – one entry per person – to robert@catholiclifeministries.org. Or mail it to us: 1827 NE 58th St, #B Seattle WA 98105. Due by Saturday, Feb 18th. We will select winners for the following age groups:

High School (9^th – 12^th grade); Middle School (6^th – 8^th grade); Primary School (Kinder – 5^th grade).  Please be sure to write the author’s name, grade level, and phone or email on the entry.

A person could go all his or her life without observing Ash Wednesday and still be a deeply committed Christian.  Obviously the same is true for St. Brigid’s Day.  These celebrations include some tangible expression of faith. On Ash Wednesday we receive a cross of ashes on our foreheads.  On the eve of St. Brigid’s Day (February 1), we use a kerchief to literally swipe our homes clean of sin with the cloth and then tie the cloth to a tree, where “Spirit-wind” blows the sins away.  These actions add meaning and even fun to our faith, and help make our faith very real and earthy.  They are outward signs of our beliefs as disciples of Jesus, yet they are not essential to discipleship.

What are the essentials of being a disciple of Jesus anyway?  Here are a few that come to mind:  belonging to a community of faith that follows Jesus; encountering Jesus in a personal way and making a conscious decision to follow him by living out the Beatitudes; opening one’s life to the Holy Spirit; belonging to a small group where one is personally loved and held accountable as a disciple; participation in public worship and community rites; maintaining a consistent prayer life that involves the praying with/studying of Scripture; engaging one’s faith within daily life; caring for the sick, elderly, poor, and for children.

WOW!  That’s a tall order and sounds like a lot of work.  These “essentials” are the “meat and potatoes” of following Jesus but, to continue the food analogy, without much seasoning or dessert. 

I think that it’s the addition of the non-essentials that adds spice and fun to one’s faith, and shapes a specific identity as Christians (Catholic, Episcopalian, etc.).  For example, the liturgical year that divides up secular time into sacred seasons of Advent/Christmas, Lent, Easter/Pentecost, and Ordinary Times, is certainly not an essential feature of being a Christian.  Some deeply Christian denominations function perfectly fine without a “liturgical year.”  Yet we Catholics, joined by the Orthodox and mainline Protestants, find the liturgical calendar extremely useful to organize the year around the major themes of Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection.  In doing so, we think we are better able to fully participate in that paschal mystery year round.

We wait with patience during Advent as we pray for the coming Messiah; rejoice exceedingly as we celebrate the coming of the Messiah in the baby Jesus during Christmas/Epiphany; sit at the feet of Jesus during Ordinary Time to learn about the Kingdom of God; mourn with Jesus for our sins and the sins of the world as we walk with him to Calvary; and shout “Alleluia” as we experience his resurrection and the gift of the Holy Spirit.  The liturgical year is a non-essential aspect of Christian discipleship that infuses our faith with the breadth of human emotions.  It adds immense depth to Christian discipleship and provides us with an anchor to hang on to our faith amidst the busyness of secular society.

The “Sign of the Cross” is another non-essential and arbitrary practice that Christians do that has helped shape an identity that is deeply Christian and Catholic.  In that one action, we remind ourselves of the saving work of Jesus through his death on the cross, and of our dependence on the Trinity, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Can a person be a good Christian and never make the “sign of the cross”?  Most certainly.  Some Christians bow their heads when they begin a prayer.  Catholics (and Orthodox) make the “Sign of the Cross.”  It reminds us to quiet ourselves and be attentive to what God is doing in the moment, whether it is followed by the blessing of a meal or the committal of a beloved family member to the grave.

I think a relationship with Mary, the mother of Jesus, especially manifested through the practice of praying the rosary and the veneration of her image in ICONS, is a non-essential practice of Christian discipleship.  One could go his or her entire life without ever praying to God through Mary, much less saying the rosary, and still be a deeply committed follower of Jesus.  St. Paul makes no mention of Jesus’ mother except in one obscure text in Galatians (4:4).  Certainly Paul never prayed to Mary and never thought that what she brought to the life of a disciple was important enough to write about.  Protestants, taking their cue from Paul, also do not pray to Mary (or the saints) and yet are still following Jesus as committed disciples.  Mary, ICONS, and the rosary are non-essentials to Christian discipleship.  Yet Christians have prayed to God through Mary since the early days of Christianity. Devotion to Mary, so deeply imbedded in Catholic and Orthodox cultures, is a wonderful gift from God that deepens faith, hope, and love.

Of course, there are many other non-essentials such as observing the feast days of saints, praying to St. Anthony for lost items, blessing pets on the feast of St. Francis, wearing religious medals and scapulars, lighting candles as a prayer offering, fasting on Wednesdays and Fridays, and “burying the Alleluia” on Mardi Gras, the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday.  None of these practices are essential to Christian discipleship and, if done without the essentials, don’t have much meaning.  But when these rituals are done in conjunction with being an active follower of Jesus, they have the capacity to shape a Catholic Christian identity that gives a person deeper roots and brings joy and fun to the Christian life.

So add some spice to your faith life.  On St. Brigid’s Day (Feb. 1), wipe your home clean of sin and on Mardi Gras (Feb. 21)) bury the Alleluia (see rituals below).  Then on Ash Wednesday, the very next day, go to the nearest Catholic Church and get your ashes (even if you are not a Catholic).

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For the Eve of St. Brigid’s Day “Spring Cleaning” (January 31)
Prayer:  Saint Brigid, daughter of Ireland and lover of Jesus, draw us by your prayers into the living flame of God’s love.  Help us to clean our hearts and homes of all that is selfish and self-centered.  We forgive all who have hurt us and ask God to forgive our sins as well.

Pray for us, St. Brigid, that we will be attentive to the poor and spiritually abandoned, that we will practice the Beatitudes in good times and bad, and that the warmth of God’s love will animate all that we say and do.

Activity:  Each member of the home takes a kerchief or handkerchief in hand and walks through the house dusting the furniture and books, lamps, etc. singing “Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia.”

When the house has been thoroughly dusted, all go outside and tie the kerchiefs on the branches of a tree. The myth is that, on the eve of her feast day, in the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit, St. Brigid travels through the land with her prayers to remove the dust and sin, and even ailments, from our lives.

Closing Prayer:  St. Brigid, come this day, to our home and hearts, come by the power of God, and be our guest.  And help us, dear Brigid, to wipe away the dust of “me, my, and mine” that we might love others as disciples of Jesus with a selfless heart.  Amen.

Our Father…

Leave the kerchiefs and handkerchiefs on the tree for a week or until Ash Wednesday.

BURY THE ALLELUIA ON ASH WEDNESDAY (Feb 22) or on the Eve of Ash Wednesday (Mardi Gras)

All               Alleluia!  Alleluia!  Alleluia!

Leader             For the 40 days of Lent, the Church “buries the Alleluia” by refraining from singing this sacred word in our liturgy.  We do so to remember the Lord Jesus, God’s alleluia, the Lamb of God, who took the sins of the world with him to the grave so as to rob them of their power to destroy life.

What are the sins of the world today that destroy life?  Say them aloud as you write them on a sheet of paper bearing the word “Alleluia.”

[After all have written the “sins of the world” on the sheet, the “Alleluia” is placed in the ground and buried with dirt in the same way that Jesus who died for the sins of the world was buried in a tomb following his death.]

All                   Gracious God and Father, your beloved Son Jesus suffered death to give us life.  Help us during this Lenten season to deny ourselves and serve others in imitation of Him who lives with you, and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever.  Amen!

By Lori Fontana

How many of you, dear readers, have cared for a loved one who is very ill? I am in the midst of caring for a family member who has suffered a debilitating illness, and it has given me much time to ponder and pray. Seeing her so debilitated is heartbreaking, but it is also breaking my heart open to many truths that I believe God wants to teach me.

My journey to care for my loved one was long and winding, both figuratively and literally. Literally, I had to work feverishly to “clear my calendar” to make the time and space to come. Though I only work part-time (for Robert! – I’m chief cook and bottle-washer, or rather, bookkeeper, event planner, and of course, sometime writer!), most of my work cannot be done remotely. So there was a long “to-do” list to complete before I traveled.

The trip itself was long – across the country; and while I am always amazed at the speed of air travel, gosh those airplane seats are smaller and smaller, and even on a flight of 3,000 miles, all you get for sustenance is a bag of pretzels and some cold water or hot coffee. And don’t get me started on the airplane restrooms…aghhh!

The figurative journey was an interior one – mental and emotional. Before coming, I worried and fretted: would I be physically strong enough to give the needed help? How would we pass the time – the many hours over many days of just being present to each other? Would we be relaxed and comfortable, or tense and uncertain? Would the family like my cooking?

Thankfully, I pushed through the hesitancy and doubt…and here I am. And what a tremendous grace it has been.

On my first day here, I was helping to give my loved one a sponge bath. I’ve given thousands of baths to my babies and toddlers but never to someone near my own age. I was overcome with such a feeling of tenderness and a sense of the holiness of the moment – ministering to someone who is so in need of help and vulnerable. I am aware of my role as caregiver, yes, but in a flash of clarity, I understood that I, too, share in her very same vulnerability and fragility, because I am human. None of us is beyond the reach of illness or accident or aging; and we are all going to die.

Coming face-to-face with this basic truth, I know I have several choices. I can run – to activities, media, fun; I can hide – behind clothes, possessions, obsessive exercise; I can deny – with food, drink, drugs, unhealthy relationships. Or I can embrace the end to which all of us are heading.

It’s just a fact that when we are certain about where we are going, we are better travelers. We move forward with intention, with gusto and JOY, because in the light of eternity, we can see more clearly what really matters. Oh, we can count on making detours. Sometimes we will circle back or veer into dead ends, even with our clearer vision. But we will stay on course to our eternal home, following God’s beckoning, God who is pure love and who loves us completely, totally, without reservation.

Yes, God loves us, but that doesn’t mean we won’t suffer, which points me back to the grace of caring for my loved one. Overnight, much of who she is had seemed to vanish. She can walk only with help; she cannot cook, drive, or write. Individual words are clearly spoken, but her thoughts are often jumbled, especially with the mixing up of “I,” “you,” “she,” “me,” etc. The mystery is that, no matter her physical, mental, emotional state, truly, she is beloved of God. As the Lord tells us in Isaiah 43:4, ”You are precious in my eyes, and glorious [honored], and I love you.” No one is excluded from God’s love.

As I tend to my loved one’s needs, I am so aware that I stand on holy ground and am called to a holy mission. As John Michael Talbot sings, “Christ has no body now but yours, no hands, no feet on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes through which he moves compassion on this world; Christ has no body now on earth but yours.” [from St Teresa of Avila]

I’ve never had this role before. Helping to feed, dress, toilet, and bathe another adult is a very intimate, and sometimes very intimidating, job. But with the eyes of faith, it becomes a sacred duty, an honored task, and an act of love. In this hard and holy work, the Holy Spirit is revealing to me my smallness, my weakness, and also my greatness. I, human, am diminishing each day; but also I, human, am Jesus to another. This is holy ground, indeed!

I’m left with two things to ponder. First, I will be leaving. I will travel to an airport, get on an airplane, and fly across the country, returning to my own daily routine, my own bed. I’m basically in control of my life. I leave these hardships behind, but my loved one remains here, struggling each day to do the most basic life activities such as brushing her teeth. How often do I brush my teeth mindlessly, while doing two or three other things?!

Second, I’m reflecting on the many, many people who cope with a loved one’s debilitating illness every day, for long weeks and months, even years. It can happen in any of our families or circle of close friends. And, taking it a step further, the one with the debilitating accident or illness could be me.

It’s only in faith that I can stave off the anxieties and fears that accompany thoughts of these possibilities. Jesus is our hope; he knows firsthand our human journey, has endured many trials and sufferings, and promises to be with us “in good times and in bad.” And he also gives us the Holy Spirit to strengthen and guide us. That is the power of our faith – not that we avoid all troubles, but that we are given the power and the wisdom to endure them.

By Robert Fontana

Last year we suggested that in observance of the Feast of the Presentation (February 2), the day we remember that Mary and Joseph presented Jesus to God in the temple, we too should present our children to God at Sunday worship. 

Let’s do this with our kids and grandkids.  Let’s have a grand procession into the church with all the children of the Church. Let them march in with balloons, streamers, and banners while playing horns, beating drums, and banging tambourines to “make a joyful noise unto the Lord” as did King David who entered Jerusalem in festive dance! Let the entire Mass be filled with exuberant joy as we present our children to God, the children who are not simply the future Church, but the Church now! Even as young ones, they are discovering how much they are loved by God and how much God wants to use them to bring God’s love to the world of their daily lives.

I wrote the Archbishop of Seattle in November suggesting that he encourage the pastors in the archdiocese to observe “Present the Children to God Sunday.”  I have not yet heard back from him. Lori and I proposed this to our pastor, and he said, “Go for it!” Here’s the tentative plan.

Essay/poetry contest— In order to build some interest in this day among the young, we are going to host an essay/poetry contest with prize money. Topic: Care for the Earth (in response to Pope Francis’ encyclical letter Laudato Si – see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOgF2Kgel6k for a 4-minute video for children.) Write a poem or a 100-word essay on what it means for you to “care for the earth” during this time of climate crisis.

First place: $25   Second Place: $15   Third place: $10

We are opening up this contest to our young readers. Scan and email your essay or poem – one entry per person – to  Robert@catholiclifeministries.org. We will select winners for the following age groups: High School (9^th – 12^th grade); Middle School (6^th – 8^th grade); Primary School (Kinder – 5^th grade).  Please be sure to write the author’s name, grade level, and phone or email on the entry. Winners will receive a check in the mail!

Liturgy for Present the Children to God Sunday

¨ Children with banners and streamers process in at the beginning of Mass behind the Word of God. The choir sings “O When the Saints Come Marching In.” If possible, a trumpet player will lead the procession.

¨ With the opening prayer, the presider prays a prayer of thanksgiving for the gift of the children of the Church.

¨ Children who have been prepared serve as lectors and read the Scripture readings.

¨ The presider invites the children with the winning essays or poems to read them during the homily.

¨ Children who have been prepared lead the prayers of the faithful.

¨ During the Preparation of Gifts, children are invited to bring a dollar for the Children’s basket on the altar or a canned food item for St. Vincent de Paul.

¨ All the children present are invited around the altar as the presider begins the Liturgy of the Eucharist. The children are asked to return to their seats following the Our Father.

¨ As part of the final blessing, the presider invites the children to come forward as he gives each one a holy card from the parish (see below), commemorating the day and containing a short prayer the children are invited to pray daily.

¨ Cake and refreshments await the children and their families in the parish hall.

By Robert Fontana

I love you, O beautiful tree of Christmas. You enrich my life and the lives of all who gaze upon you in wonder and delight.

Your coming was awaited with childlike anticipation. And when you arrived, the busyness of the house stopped so all could welcome you. Treats were shared and wine was poured as you took your place in the corner of the family room, an honored guest.

You are lovely in your simplicity. Still, we dressed you with a string of lights that glow like fireflies in the night. Then your magic began, for it seems you are some sort of mystical portal to the past. I can see my father toasting his sons with a glass of Mogan and David and my mother, cigarette dangling from her mouth, laying tinsel strand by strand on the Christmas tree of my childhood.

Other memories emerge as we grace your branches with ornaments, some homemade, some gifted, some in honor of the holy event we commemorate, and some as playful as a toy plane, a doll, or an elf from Santa’s workshop. With each adornment, stories are shared. With each sharing, new images from the past flow around us: cousin Wade running in from the outside delirious with joy; my brothers in their red Boys Choir blazers preparing for midnight Mass; and friends gathered around the piano to sing “Sister Mary Had a-But One Child” to Mom’s accompaniment.

O Christmas Tree, I see in you all the Christmas trees of my past, from the great pine my brother John and I cut down and dragged into the family living room, to the silver one that shone brightly at Grandma’s house, to the very first tree of our marriage, a “tree” that Lori and I created from cast-off boughs collected at the Christmas tree lot because we could not afford even the $10 for the smallest tree.

We have gathered our children around you, and now our grandchildren, all in memory of the God of love who sent us Jesus to teach us how to love. You, O Christmas Tree, have been a sacrament of this season, a source of beauty and unity of past and present. And like the Christ-child who will give his life for all of creation, you give your life so that we may celebrate these days in the grace of your presence.

I do love you, O Christmas Tree, and I thank you!

By Robert Fontana

The Christmas homily ought to be short!  The meaning of the day is made abundantly clear in the carols sung, the readings proclaimed, the liturgy prayed, and the festivities in the home. The homilist need only add an exclamation point to what the Christmas liturgy shouts out with joy! Here’s my Five-Minute Christmas Homily for 2022.

Rob     Church, Jesus is Emmanuel, God with us! When I say, “Jesus is Emmanuel,” please shout back to me, “God with us.” Let’s practice. JESUS IS EMMANUEL!

All       GOD WITH US!

Rob     God became a human being! God was born from the womb of Mary. The baby Jesus needed his diaper changed, needed to nurse in the middle of the night, had to be swaddled when he was cold and carried up and down the stable and sung to when he wouldn’t fall asleep. This little baby Jesus is Emmanuel.

All       GOD WITH US!

Rob     The child Jesus did not come just to get us to heaven. The child Jesus came to help us have the courage to fully live our lives on earth and to dare to do on earth what is done in heaven. 

Isn’t that what we pray in The Our Father: “thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven?”  And what exactly is done in heaven? Love! Absolute love of God and of one another. Christmas invites us to love God by loving one another, and the earth itself. Jesus is Emmanuel.

All       GOD WITH US!

Rob     We are not talking about the sentimental love of a Hallmark Christmas movie, where every ending is happy and filled with holiday cheer. No, we are talking about the demanding love of the Gospels, a love that will sacrifice so that others may live, in good times and bad, in sickness and health, in war and in peace. We know what this love looks like: spouses being faithful to one another; foster parents taking in yet another child; elders caring for one another in sickness; citizens advocating for the rights of the unborn, women, and workers; compassionate citizens housing migrants and refugees; and corporate leaders adjusting their business models to help save the earth from the effects of climate change. Jesus is Emmanuel.

All       GOD WITH US!

Rob     My prayer for all of us this Christmas is for wisdom and courage: the wisdom to figure out how to fully love within the complex and challenging circumstances of life, and the courage to do so. This might mean: simply doing what you are doing at work and home more intentionally for the love of God; sharing possessions and financial resources with persons materially poor; repairing fractured relationships with a spouse or other family members; admitting an addiction to alcohol, pornography, drugs, gambling, shopping, etc., and getting the help needed for sobriety and healthy living. I hope for all of us it will mean avoiding political extremes and working hard to protect our democracy. 

Whatever it is you need to do to live out the call to love more wisely and courageously within the circumstances of your life, remember, you and I are not alone. We can draw our strength and inspiration from Jesus, Emmanuel.

All       GOD WITH US!

Rob     A blessed and holy Christmas. God bless us everyone!

By Robert Fontana

Because of God there is the Great Beginning, the emerging universe with its unimaginable energy bursting into time and space.

Because of the Great Beginning and emerging universe there is the formation of fiery stars with their immense power and potency.

Because of the great stars there came to be thousands upon thousands of galaxies, and our unique galaxy called the Milky Way.

Because of the Milky Way Galaxy and its complex evolution, the sun is born and with it the planets that orbit it including Earth with all its creative power and vitality.

Because of Earth there is the evolution of life through nature from the earliest microbes through the dinosaurs to our world of plants and animals.

Because of nature there are humans, women and men, from all corners of the earth, from countless tribes of people.

And because of the one tribe of Judah there is born to Mary of Nazareth the child Jesus called Emmanuel, God with us.

By Robert Fontana

Because of God there is the Great Beginning, the emerging universe with its unimaginable energy bursting into time and space.

Because of the Great Beginning and emerging universe there is the formation of fiery stars with their immense power and potency.

Because of the great stars there came to be thousands upon thousands of galaxies, and our unique galaxy called the Milky Way.

Because of the Milky Way Galaxy and its complex evolution, the sun is born and with it the planets that orbit it including Earth with all its creative power and vitality.

Because of Earth there is the evolution of life through nature from the earliest microbes through the dinosaurs to our world of plants and animals.

Because of nature there are humans, women and men, from all corners of the earth, from countless tribes of people.

And because of the one tribe of Judah there is born to Mary of Nazareth the child Jesus called Emmanuel, God with us.

 

By Robert Fontana

December 6  is the Feast of St. Nicholas, Bishop of Myra (in modern day Turkey). He had a reputation for secretly giving gifts to people in need, which led to the rise among pious Christians of the figure of Santa Claus (Sinterklaas (Dutch: [ˌsɪntərˈklaːs]) or Sint-Nicolaas – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas).

Lori and I decided when our children were small to make the Feast of St. Nicholas a special day for them so that they would understand the Christian figure behind the Santa Claus story. We are continuing that custom with the grandchildren. On St. Nicholas Day morning, they will be opening their Christmas stockings, each containing a book, a candy treat, and an orange. For the grands who live above us, we’ll have breakfast together with an ice cream pie as the main dish!

Here’s a reflection on the difference between St. Nicholas and Santa Claus, followed by a prayer service that families (with or without children) or friends can do to honor St. Nicholas, disciple of Jesus, and friend of the poor.

• Santa wants your credit card; Nicholas wants your heart.
• Santa will turn you into a consumer; Nicholas will help you be a servant.
• Santa is a whimsical tale of a fat old elf who gives toys to boys and girls who have been good; St. Nicholas helped children escape from poverty and slavery.
• Santa reminds us to give presents; Nicholas reminds us to give ourselves.
• Santa is controlled by the department store; Nicholas was led by the Spirit.
• Santa is a man dressed in a costume; Nicholas was a Bishop who cared for his people.
• Santa reminds us to follow the Christmas sales; Nicholas reminds us to follow Jesus.
• Santa promises us happiness through gift-giving; Nicholas reminds us that happiness is the fruit of a faithful life.
• Santa is a fun story to read to children at Christmas Eve; Nicholas was a man of great compassion who sold his possessions and gave the money to the poor so that he could do God’s will in perfect freedom.
• Santa has nothing to do with Jesus the God-Man whose birth is celebrated on Christmas Day. Nicholas’ life only makes sense because of his love and commitment to Jesus the God-Man whose birth is celebrated on Christmas Day.

A Prayer Service for the Feast of St. Nicholas, Adapted by Robert Fontana from a prayer service by Thomas G. Simons from the St. Nicholas Center.

Call To Worship

Leader: Praise God for St. Nicholas!

Children:  Yea St. Nicholas!

Leader: The Spirit of the Lord was upon him.

Children: Yea St. Nicholas!

Leader: Loving God, St. Nicholas loved Jesus, and because he loved Jesus he loved children and the poor.  We honor his memory today and in doing so hope to imitate his kindness and love.

Children:  St. Nicholas, pray for us. Amen!

Word Service – 1 Peter 5.1–4

The following summary of the life of St. Nicholas may be read and discussed.

St. Nicholas was born to Christian parents.  Legends recount the story of Nicholas’ baptism when his parents brought him to the sacred fount; he leapt from his mother’s arms into the Baptismal waters.  After the death of his parents, he gave away his inheritance to the poor of Myra, and dedicated himself to serve his people first as a priest and later as a bishop.

Bishop Nicholas preached the Gospel in a Roman culture still dominated by Greek and Roman religious customs and moral behavior.  He organized Churched, taught the Catholic faith, and invited non-Christians to join the community of faith.  He is most remembered as a helper to the poor and to children.   Once Bishop Nicholas heard that a father was struggling to feed his three daughters.  He did not have the money for a marriage dowry, and was considering selling them off into slavery so they would at least have something to eat.   On three occasions, Bishop Nicholas threw a bag of gold through the window into the room of the sleeping father. His daughters soon were married. Later the father came to Nicholas, fell at his feet and said, “Nicholas, you are my helper.”

This story and his many other works of charity led to the tradition of giving presents on the Feast of St. Nicholas and at Christmas. The name Santa Claus, in fact, evolved from his name.

Bishop Nicholas proclaimed the Gospel, baptized new Christians, feed the hungry and poor, and taught the truths of Christianity.   He died at Myra in 350 A.D. His popularity, already great, increased when his bones were brought to Italy in 1087. Both the Eastern and Western churches honor him. St. Nicholas is the patron saint of Russia, Greece, and Sicily.  He is regarded as the special patron of children. His feast is December 6.

Intercessions

Reader: For the gift of each person here.

All: We give thanks.

Reader: For the many material blessings that we have received and can share with those in need.

All: We give thanks.

Reader: For a holiday season of joy, hope, and peace.

All: We give thanks.

Blessing Prayer

Leader: Gracious and good Lord, we bless you on this feast of St. Nicholas, your servant, who is an example to us of a life of charity and love.

All: Help us to imitate his good deeds.

Leader: Make us always mindful of the needs of others and help us rejoice in the abundance of your goodness around us. We ask this through Jesus our Lord.

All: Amen.

Our Father…

Share a special treat or exchange small gifts, if desired.