Catholic Life Ministries

By Lori Fontana

On Saturday, November 26th, CLM partnered with the Care for Mother Earth Social Justice Committee of Assumption Parish, north Seattle, to help families prepare for Advent.

Over 30 people attended – children, parents, and grandparents – to learn about the INCARNATION of Jesus, who came to earth to be with us and all of God’s creation.

Through prayer, skits, songs, and crafts, we helped each other enter into the Advent  season with a plan for prayer and action.

We watched a children’s video which explains Pope Francis’s letter on the care for creation, Laudato Si. (seehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIVuISZGdug) Remember, the Incarnation of Jesus is not simply about His saving humans for heaven.  Jesus came to teach us how to bring heaven to earth by loving one another and that love includes the “birds of the air and the flowers of the field.” (Matthew 6:28)

Each family made an Advent wreath to use as a focus for their daily prayer. Also, each family made an Advent chain, to countdown the days until Christmas. On different links of the chain, they wrote what they will do to show care for each other and for God’s beautiful creation.

It was a lively, fun, and faith-filled time!

It’s not too late to make an advent plan for your family!

Advent Prayer with the Advent Wreath

[Materials Needed:  Prayer card; Advent wreath, 3 purple candles, 1 pink candle.]

 All     O come, O come Emmanuel and ransom captive Israel that mourns in lonely exile here until the son of God appear.  Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel shall come to you, O Israel.

Leader        Come, O Lord, and set us free.                                All            Bring your people peace.

Candle of Promise (1^st Week of Advent):  I light the Candle of Promise because God made a covenant to our ancestors to save us from sin and evil, and give us peace.  This promise has been fulfilled in Jesus. (light 1 candle)

Candle of Hope (2^nd Week of Advent):  I light the Candle of Hope because God’s beloved son, Jesus, born at Bethlehem, gives us everlasting life. (light 2 candles)

Candle of Joy (3^rd  Week of Advent) I light the Candle of Joy because God’s beloved Son, Jesus, born of Mary, is our friend.  He is “Emmanuel,”  “God with us.”  (light pink candle, and 2 purple candles)

Candle of Love (4^th Sunday of Advent):  I light the Candle of Love because God so loved the world that He gave his only son, not to condemn the world, but to save it.  (light 4 candles)

By Lori Fontana

Every year about this time, I just want to burrow into my favorite cozy chair, wrapped in a fleece blanket, with a mug of cocoa and a good book. Mark Twain describes it well:

“Good friends, good books and a sleep conscience: this is the ideal life.”

But it’s also Advent-tide, one of my favorite seasons of the liturgical year. I normally make a special plan of action and prayer. But this year, the Seattle “Big Dark,” plus my age, leave me feeling a bit tired and unmotivated. Twain’s good book and sleepy conscience sound inviting. How to get motivated to observe this holy season and to grow spiritually…

Advent, with its candles and songs, readings of light and hope and the awaited birth of a little baby, can be a potent antidote for the very dark, very cold, very rainy Seattle winter days.

My conscience, I guess, is not sleepy enough to ignore  Advent. In the depths of my heart and soul, I do want to celebrate this lovely season in a concrete and meaningful way. But to do that, I’ll have to push through some very real inertia and make a plan.

How can I mark this holy season? Here are some ways to journey through Advent with spiritual awareness and energy. There are Advent booklets galore, with daily Scriptures, reflections, and suggested activities. I like the offerings of an organization, Creative Communications (CreativeCommunications.com), which has an assortment of Advent prayer booklets for everyone: children, families, seniors; booklets in Spanish and booklets especially for teens. The themes of these booklets range from angel messages to “light,” from the messages in traditional carols to the gentle wisdom of Henri Nouwen. Many   parishes offer a reflection booklet for Advent. Find one you like and use it in your daily prayer.

Maybe you’d like to go straight to the Scriptures, the Gospel of Matthew or Luke, reading the birth story of Jesus a little bit at a time and reflecting on the awesome mystery of the Son of God who became a tiny, helpless baby, in Israel, over 2,000 years ago.

Perhaps your prayer could be a daily quiet time: sitting in silence and stillness for 5 or 10 or 20 minutes each   morning or each evening, making that a part of each day in Advent. Light a candle, wrap up in a blanket (but, I remind myself to sit up so it doesn’t become naptime!) and just pay attention to your breath and to the mystery of God’s love for YOU. You can whisper a word that draws you into prayer: “Jesus.” “Love.” “Surrender.” “Peace.” A time of stillness like this can be a centering balance to the chaos of the Christmas season, with its parties, presents, cooking, cleaning, traveling, family, guests, late nights,  early mornings, wrapping, baking, buying! Doesn’t 20 minutes of quiet sound heavenly?!?

And just a few days ago, I had a gentle revelation about another way to observe Advent with meaning. Robert and I attended Thanksgiving Day Mass. The people gathered were small in number, mostly older folks like us. It was a beautiful time of prayer, singing, a lively homily by our pastor Fr Oliver, and then receiving the Eucharist.

After Mass, we walked out behind an elderly woman. We stopped to introduce ourselves and ask how she would celebrate the day. She told us her name and that she would be with family. But she would be missing her dear husband of 43 years who had passed away last year. She was thinking of her mom, too, who had passed away just three years ago. Then she related a very funny story about how, first her mom, and then later her husband           convalesced in the very same room at a care facility. “God has a sense of humor,” she commented. Her memories brought some tears to her eyes and also a smile to her lips.

As we parted, she reached out to shake our hands and said, “Thank you both for stopping to introduce yourselves and say hello. I am grateful.”

It was a poignant reminder for me: Advent is about the GIFT OF PRESENCE. Our culture says it’s all about PRESENTS! And, of course, presents are nice – fun to buy, fun to receive. But our Christian faith adds a deeper dimension to this season – that of PRESENCE. We will so benefit, body, mind, and spirit, if we take some time to be present to God in prayer, and present to one another. Our visit with the elderly woman after church was only 5 minutes of time, but it was rich in connection and care. Presence makes a difference.

So this Advent – YES, take time for a good book, without the sleepy conscience, though. As many of the Advent Scripture readings point out, we Christians must STAY AWAKE! Take time for  reflective prayer and silence, and make time to be present, both to your loved ones and to others you know or meet, who might need a little extra love and care in this holiday season. After all, Jesus’ gift to us at Christmas is his presence in our world and in our lives. For Advent, let’s be generous in sharing that hopeful presence.

By Robert Fontana

Here’s a paraphrase of a familiar Christmas song:

“It’s the most busiest time of the year, with the kids and mom yelling and everyone telling you get off your rear! It’s the most busiest time of the year!”

Can’t you hear Andy Williams or Amy Grant singing it? These days from Thanksgiving to Christmas, the secular holiday season, are such a busy and fun time. It’s a struggle for us Fontanas to focus on Advent and the coming of the Christ Child at Christmas when the world around us is immersed in the lights, decorations, parties, and music of the winter holiday season.

Fr. Ron Rolheiser captures the dilemma that many Christians confront during the holiday season:  Rolheiser, in his book The Holy Longing, writes something like this: most of us want the holiness and generosity of Mother Teresa when it comes to opening our hearts to the true meaning of Christmas, the birth of Jesus. At the same time, we also want the fun, romantic intimacy, warm ambiance, amazing gifts, delicious desserts, and the multitude of wines, cocktails and beers portrayed in a Hollywood Christmas movie! In the end, according to Rolheiser, what we usually get is an unhappy mixture of both options and end up on Christmas night…well…exhausted.

I do not have a great piece of wisdom to offer you (and me) in resolving this dilemma because it cannot really be resolved. It can be, shall we say, tamed or moderated by a little bit of forethought, wisdom, and courage.

In my youth, I did not approach this issue with wisdom. I had good intentions, but those good intentions only created anxiety, stress, and more work for Lori.

“Lori, let’s make our Christmas gifts for the family gift exchange!” 

Great idea, right? Great way to have an “alternative Christmas,” which was all the rage during our college and post college years. However, I DID NOT (AND STILL DO NOT) KNOW HOW TO MAKE ANYTHING WITH MY HANDS! Lori ended up doing all the work and often the projects were not completed until after midnight on Christmas Eve. Good intentions without wisdom make a bad combination. A few dollars spent on some thoughtful and modest gifts would have saved us lots of Christmas misery.

Of course, at Christmas time, when we consider how the Gospel was first proclaimed to the poor shepherds in the field, we are drawn to reach out to people around us who are materially and spiritually poor. Pope Francis would have us include “nature” in our list of the poor that must be served:

“The earth herself, burdened and laid waste, is among the most abandoned and maltreated of our poor; she “groans in travail” (Rom 8:22). We have forgotten that we ourselves are dust of the earth (cf. Gen 2:7); our very bodies are made up of her elements, we breathe her air and we receive life and refreshment from her waters.”
― Pope Francis, Care for our Common Home (Laudate Si)

The Incarnation of Jesus is not simply about Jesus saving human beings and getting us to heaven.  Jesus came to wake us up to our duties on earth to love one another, and that duty extends to caring for the planet which is our only home. We share earth with all other living creatures. We need a healthy planet in order to live healthy lives. The creatures of the earth, from the great birds of prey to the tiniest insects and all growing things can live happily without us humans, but we humans cannot live happy lives without the creatures of the earth and vegetative life. Saving them during this time of climate crisis is how we value and preserve our own lives.

During the first year of the pandemic, when we couldn’t really gather inside for family parties, we put up a Christmas tree in our front yard and decorated it with food for the birds and, invariably, the squirrels. It was so much fun putting it together and so much fun watching our animal and bird friends enjoy it.

The holiday season is the “most busiest time of the year.” It doesn’t have to be exhausting! Sit down with your loved ones and talk through how you want to observe Advent in preparation for Christmas, while enjoying the secular aspects of the season as well. Have a family meeting in which all get to state their hopes and expectations for the holidays. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead you and your family to wisdom in how you hold together the tension between the secular winter holiday and the Christian season of Advent and Christmas. Set some simple goals following the guidance of the folk singer Donavan as he sang in his song, “Stone by Stone,” written for the movie Brother Sun, Sister Moon:

If you want to live life free, take your time go slowly. Do few things but do them well, simple joys are holy.

Wishing you Advent peace and blessings!

By Lori Fontana

 We all know the story of “The Good Samaritan.” (Luke 10:29-37) Jesus teaches his listeners the Great Commandment, which ends with [love] your neighbor as yourself. A scholar in the crowd asks Jesus, “Who is my neighbor?” In response, Jesus tells the well-known parable.

It is a parable relevant for today. Who is my neighbor? How far afield does Jesus’ directive go? Is it the people who live to the right and left of me? Is it my relative with whom I don’t get along? Is it the man or woman living in the park across the street? Just who is my neighbor, Jesus? Really, how far do I have to stretch with this?

And what does loving my “neighbor” actually look like? Is it a donation to the mission? Volunteering at the food bank?  Inviting someone in need to my dinner table? The interpretations and possibilities are endless. I want to have the loving, compassionate heart of the Good Samaritan, but do I have the time, the energy, the resources, the courage?

In my younger years, I really did believe that we Christians could “solve” all the woes and problems of society. If everyone pitched in and worked together, there would be enough food, enough shelter, enough care and camaraderie to pull every person out of need. But the older I get (and I am still learning), I’ve grown to believe that, as Jesus said , “The poor you will always have with you…” (Matthew 26:11) However, I don’t hear Jesus saying, “Just throw up your hands in defeat and walk away!” Jesus says quite the opposite: “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers [and sisters] of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25:40)

So I walk around with this mental tug-o-war each time I encounter someone in need. Is this my neighbor? And if so, what should I do? What can I even manage to do for her or him? The problems are so huge, and I feel inadequate and, many times, afraid to try to help.

Several weeks ago, on a gray, chilly, misty day, I walked home from the post office (rubbing elbows with my “post office prodigals!”). Ahead, I saw a pile of boxes and bags around a huge yellow umbrella, and a large dog. Having once been bitten by a stray dog, I swung widely around this pooch who seemed to be guarding the mound of assorted items. Then I saw two legs poking out from beneath the umbrella. There was a person in there. Hmmm.

I continued walking home, but my conscience was pricked. Here was someone who looked to be in need. What to do? I arrived home, and paced a bit before I decided I could AT LEAST bring the person some hot chocolate. I mixed it up in a “to go” cup with a lid and trekked back to where the person was sitting. The dog was now lying down. I couldn’t even see the person, but I called out, “Would you like some hot chocolate?”

Immediately, the person responded, “Yes!” The voice was that of a young woman. I approached slowly, wary of the dog.

All I could see were the woman’s legs so I offered, “If you put your hand out, I’ll hand you the hot chocolate.” She extended an arm, I gave her the cocoa, and I handed her a card advertising the Ravenna Pop-Up Kitchen, where we distribute food once a week for neighbors. “I hope you enjoy the cocoa.” She responded with a thank you. I asked her name – “Kat” – and her dog’s name – “Max.” I said she would be very  welcome to come by the next day to the Pop-Up Kitchen for food and toiletries. Then I was on my way.

Back in my own warm home, I had mixed feelings. A cup of cocoa is such a tiny band aid for such a BIG problem. I’m not the Good Samaritan by a long shot; but maybe I’m at least the “So-so Samaritan.” Though a small gesture, I did something; I acknowledged this  sister human being; I went a little bit out of my way to offer a tiny kindness.

Maybe that’s the point. Most of us cannot solve society’s big problems. But all of us can do something to show care. Even the smallest gesture can lift another person up and give them hope. We can ask the Holy Spirit for guidance, courage, and strength; and the Spirit will open our eyes to how we can help. Mother Teresa said, “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”  If each one of us shares what we can, we will be better than a “so-so Samaritan.” We will be the Good Samaritan – the hands and feet, the heart and voice of Jesus to a weary world.

By Robert Fontana

Did you hear the story of the Irishman Paddy who fell and hit his head. His friends gathered around him and, unable to rouse him, pronounced him dead. They put him in a coffin and carried him to the graveyard. On the way to the cemetery, the pallbearers slipped and dropped the coffin. Paddy, jolted awake by the fall, sat up and said, “Hey fellas, what’s going on?” His friends shouted back, “You’re dead!” They pushed him back down into the coffin, nailed it shut, and proceeded on to the cemetery.

Moral: When a rigidly held belief bumps into solid facts, the rigidly held beliefs usually win.

Dear readers, I’m not making a political and partisan argument here, but a moral one.  Bear with me.

“Election Deniers!” It is hard to believe, but the numbers are legion. Against all the evidence, they spout the lie created and perpetrated by the former president that the 2020 presidential election was stolen! That he, Donald J. Trump, is the rightful president.  And that Joe Biden, the current occupant of the White House, is there by fraud.

NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH. Donald Trump’s own cyber security chief stated that it was the safest election (safe from fraud) in US history. 60 of 61 court filings by Trump lawyers and supporters to challenge the election results were thrown out as were two appeals to the US Supreme Court. And now, with the testimonies of many former Trump staffers and Republican party leaders to the January 6 congressional committee, including statements from his former attorney general, Catholic Bill Barr, we know that Trump was told that the election was fairly won, that he admitted it in private that it was fairly won, and that he still refused to publicly accept the results. In fact, he had a premeditated plan dating back to months before the election to plant the notion that the only way that he could lose the election is by fraud.

Joseph Goebbels, Hitler’s propaganda minister, once said, “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”  (Inspiringquotes.us)

In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, lying is defined as a sin, and the gravity of a lie is measured by the “truth it deforms, the circumstances, the intentions of the one who lies, and the harm suffered by its victims.” It follows that a lie that “does grave injury to the virtues of justice and charity” is a mortal sin (Art 2484). The “big lie” that the 2020 election was stolen does such “grave injury” because it greatly undermines “justice and charity,” thereby eroding trust in democracy. (I think Catholic bishops, clergy, and lay leaders must publicly condemn this lie and tell the Catholic community the truth that Joe Biden is the legally and fairly-elected president of the United States.)

You may recall that in the 2020 presidential race between Donald Trump and Joe Biden, there were some Catholic clergy and laity giving homilies and making social media posts that it was a sin to vote for a Democrat. I objected to these homilies and social media posts as being inconsistent with Catholic teaching. Here’s what Joseph Ratzinger, later Pope Benedict XVI, wrote:

 A Catholic would be guilty of formal cooperation in evil, and so unworthy to present himself for Holy Communion, if he were to deliberately vote for a candidate precisely because of the candidate’s permissive stand on abortion and/or euthanasia. When a Catholic does not share a candidate’s stand in favour of abortion and/or euthanasia, but votes for that candidate for other reasons, it is considered remote material cooperation, which can be permitted in the presence of proportionate reasons. (Worthiness to Receive Holy Communion: General Principles. Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, 2004)

So, is it a sin to vote for a politician that promotes the “big lie” that the 2020 election was stolen? The answer, consistent with Catholic moral teaching is, “Yes” if a reason one is voting for a politician is because he/she is a proponent of the “big lie.” One may vote for an election denier if one has other morally valid reasons to vote for him/her. However, to vote for an election denier, in part, because he/she is an election denier, would be a sin, as defined in Catholic teaching.

What about people who sincerely believe that the 2020 election was stolen? Are they guilty of sin if they vote for an election denier precisely because he or she is an election denier? Yes! When a person refuses to adopt a position because of a rigidly held belief, even though the facts are glaring that the rigidly held position is wrong, that person is guilty of willful ignorance. Holocaust deniers are guilty of the sin of that great lie. Advocates who deny that the unborn fetus in a mother’s womb is a baby are guilty of the sin of that great lie. And individuals and groups who refuse to accept the glaring evidence that the 2020 election was freely and fairly won by Joe Biden and deliberately vote for election deniers are guilty of the sin of that great lie.

The Marian Angelus

Leader: The Angel of the Lord declared unto Mary.  All:  And she conceived of the Holy Spirit.

Hail Mary, full of grace, The Lord is with Thee; Blessed art thou among women, And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners, Now and at the hour of our death. Amen

Leader: Behold the handmaid of the Lord.  All. Be it done to me according to thy word. Hail Mary. . .

Leader: And the Word was made flesh.  All. And dwelt among us. Hail Mary. . .

Leader: Pray for us, O holy Mother of God.  All That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

(Conclude with Grace if prayed before a meal or with the following:)

Leader: Let us pray. All:  Pour forth, we beseech Thee, O Lord, Thy grace into our hearts, that we to whom the Incarnation of Christ Thy Son was made known by the message of an angel, may by His Passion and Cross be brought to the glory of His Resurrection. Through the same Christ Our Lord. Amen.

The St. Joseph Angelus

Leader  The angel of the Lord said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home…

All  … for it is through the Holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her.” Blessed Saint  Joseph, husband of Mary, come to my aid, especially in times of anguish and difficulty.

Leader  “She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus…

All   …because he will save his people from their sins.” Blessed Saint Joseph, husband of Mary, come to my aid,          especially in times of anguish and difficulty.

Leader  “Behold, the virgin shall be with child and bear a son…

All  … and they shall name him Emmanuel, which means ‘God with us.’” Blessed Saint Joseph, husband of Mary, come to my aid, especially in times of anguish and difficulty.

(Conclude with Grace if prayed before a meal or with the following:)

Leader: Let us pray. All: Pour forth, we beseech you, O Lord, your grace into our hearts; that we to whom the Incarnation of Christ, your Son, was made known by the message of an angel, may by his Passion and Cross be brought to the glory of his Resurrection through the same Christ our Lord. Amen.

By Robert Fontana

Some of you might recall that on December 8, 2020, Pope Francis invited Catholics and Christians everywhere to participate in a year of honoring of St. Joseph, father to Jesus and spouse of Mary. He wrote,

 “Each of us can discover in Joseph — the man who goes unnoticed, a daily, discreet and hidden presence — an intercessor, a support and a guide in times of trouble…St. Joseph reminds us that those who appear hidden or in the shadows can play an incomparable role in the history of salvation.”

We took this invitation to heart and created a St. Joseph version of The Angelus. Many of you know the Angelus as a Marian devotion that recounts Mary’s “fiat,” (Latin for “let it be done”), her “yes” to God. Mary’s “yes” resulted in the birth of Jesus as told in the Gospel of Luke.

We modeled our prayer off the Marian Angelus to tell the story of Joseph’s “fiat,” his “yes” to God, which was the necessary compliment to his wife’s fiat. The prayer (see below) begins with a Scripture verse and concludes with a prayer to St. Joseph that I modeled off a prayer that Pope Francis had written.

St. Joseph’s silent and courageous “yes” to God, as told in the Gospel of Matthew, shaped the rest of his life. He took in his pregnant wife, thus preventing, at worst, her death by stoning and, at best, the humiliation of an out-of-wedlock pregnancy. He had to  protect his wife and child from the evil intentions of King Herod and guide his family to safety in Egypt. He provided for them in this foreign land where they lived as refugees, not unlike the millions of refugees fleeing violence and poverty today; and, when it seemed safe to do so, he returned with them to their extended family in Nazareth.

We also know from Jewish culture that it was Joseph’s task to teach his son the responsibilities of every Jewish man: to learn Torah and follow its teachings, and to learn a trade.

During the Holy Year of St. Joseph, we prayed the St. Joseph Angelus daily at noontime. An unexpected bonus was that this daily prayer nurtured in us a deeper love and relationship (devotion) to St. Joseph. Previously, the only time that we gave St. Joseph much thought was on March 19^th, the Feast of St. Joseph, and this was because we Sicilians look to him as the patron saint of our ancestral island (my grandparents were from Sicily). St. Joseph Day in the United States became the Italian version of St. Patrick’s Day for the Irish. It was a day to celebrate Italian cooking and the memory of our ancestors who made the journey across the Atlantic to settle in America.

Praying the St. Joseph Angelus changed that. It caused us to pause, stop the busyness of the day, and remember how God loves us so much that God sent his beloved son Jesus into the world not to condemn it, but to save it (John 3:16). The Incarnation of the Son of God would not have happened without the cooperation of both Mary and Joseph, who both said “yes,” who both guided their son in the ways of God. We grew to love St. Joseph. And then, he came to visit our home in a formal way through the image of a sacred ICON.

In October, 2019, Lori and I did a pilgrimage walk from Florence to Assisi on the Way of St. Francis (called the Via Francigena). In Assisi, we met a young Italian couple, newlyweds Romina and Fabio. We had dinner together, heard the story of their engagement and marriage, and exchanged e-mail addresses. During the pandemic Romina trained to be an iconographer, which is described as a “writer” of icons because she places the Word of God in art form on a piece of wood. She prayed, fasted, and wrote the image of St. Joseph for her first icon. It was so beautiful! After we saw a photo of it on social media, we ordered the one pictured here. The real icon was even more beautiful than the photo conveyed.

Icons in Christian history, especially in the Eastern Church, are like sacraments. They are not merely artwork to admire. They are divine images that help us encounter the presence of God through prayer, meditation, and veneration. The St. Joseph ICON sits on our table, and in a beautiful way known only to God, we not only sense the divine presence as we pray before this image, but we can also feel the masculine presence of Joseph, husband of Mary, and father to Jesus.

We have several “copies” of icons in our home, images taken from photos and placed on wood. They are lovely and help us in our prayer. The St. Joseph ICON is our first original ICON, created by Romina, after she trained in the ancient custom of iconography, and spent time in prayer and fasting. We felt great joy as we welcomed “St. Joseph” into our home.

I encourage you to include the Angelus, in either its Marian or Joseph form, in your prayer. You can access copies of this from our blog at http://www.catholiclifeministries.org/2022/10/10/the-marian-angelus-and-the-st-joseph-angelus/

Allow it to help you welcome both the mother of Jesus and the father to Jesus into your home. You might even consider commissioning Romina to write an ICON for you, one of Jesus, St. Mary, St. Joseph, or a favorite saint (I can give you her contact information)!

Glory be to God, we have a new guest in our home – St. Joseph.

By Lori Fontana

Our recent Sunday Gospel was the story of the Prodigal Son. Often the homily for this Scripture story focuses on the question – “Which character in the story do you relate to?” Would I be the prodigal, the older brother, the father?

Truth be told, I’d probably be the “older brother,” who says to his father, “All these years I served you and not once did I disobey your orders: yet you never gave me even a young goat to feast on with my friends.” [Luke 15:29]

I’m the oldest of nine children, the oldest daughter, the older sister – very much the “go-along, get-along” type and so responsible. I follow the rules, and I have high expectations that others will do the right thing too.

That’s why a recent visit to the post office was so challenging. I arrived at our neighborhood post office mid-day, with my package ready to mail. It was neatly wrapped in brown paper, taped with mailing (not Scotch) tape, address written clearly with black Sharpie and the return address affixed in the upper corner. In other words, my box was completely ready to hand to the postal clerk for mailing.

As always, there was a line. As always, there were only two clerks working, though there are four customer windows. At the one window, a young lady was insisting that she was supposed to be picking up a package here. The conversation went back and forth for 5 minutes until finally the young      customer held up a message on her phone. “Oh!” exclaimed the clerk. “You want UPS, not USPS. We’re the Post Office – USPS. There is a UPS store down the street.” The confused customer hurried away.

At the other open window, a young woman brandished a “Package Delivery” notice left at her address just that morning. She wanted to pick up the package NOW; it was medication, she insisted. The clerk, with great patience, repeated over and over that the package was not there as it was still with the mail carrier out on his route. This was a Saturday morning. The package wouldn’t be available for pick-up until the following Tuesday because the office was closed on Sunday, and Monday was a holiday. So…Tuesday. “I’m sorry,” said the clerk. The young woman stomped away, huffing and puffing her displeasure.

“Next,” chirped the clerk. The customer stepped forward. “Excuse me,” she said. “Do you have a pen?” The clerk handed her a pen, and the lady proceeded to scroll through her phone, mumbling, “I have the address here somewhere.” Then she laid her box on the counter and began to address it. The clerk waited a few seconds and then politely asked the customer to move to the side to finish addressing her package.

“May I help the next person?” the clerk sang out. This time it was an older gentleman with a large box, open at the top to reveal several spray-type bottles. “I need to ship these cleaning supplies,” the man remarked. The clerk, patient as ever, replied, “It looks like you need a bigger box. Also, what exactly is in these bottles?” There ensued an extended back-and-forth conversation about the bottle contents, the size of the box, the restrictions on sending certain substances via mail, and so on and so forth.

Meanwhile, those of us waiting in line were growing restless. As I surveyed this scene, clutching my well-prepared package, I couldn’t help but think of the wayward prodigal and his smug older sibling; and I laughed. Clearly, these folks were my Post Office Prodigals, unprepared and uninformed. Either they didn’t know or they didn’t care that the post office has rules that need to be followed. Clearly, I was the older brother – I came prepared, I knew the rules and followed them. My package was good to go. Yet I had to wait in line with everyone else.

How these folks even dared show their faces and their packages here was a mystery to me.

The lesson for me was crystal clear: just like the older brother, I was feeling self-righteous because MY package was “right,” and all these others had done it “wrong.” Yet these kind postal clerks were serving each customer, ready or not, with respect and patience. Truly, these two busy clerks were the welcoming ones, just like the father in the story.

It’s so easy to see with eyes of judgment, to look around and feel superior. But who am I to judge? The larger truth is that we are all prodigals in some way. And we all long for someone to be patient with us, to gently lead us in the right direction, as the clerks did with each customer.

No matter how you see yourself in the story of the Prodigal Son, the truth remains: God loves each one of us fully, completely, just as we are. The clerks treated me just the same as they treated each person in line. God doesn’t love me any more or any less because of how I wrap a package for mailing. God says to each one of us:

“My child, you are here with me always; everything I have is yours.” [Luke 15:31]

By Lori Fontana

As Robert is presenting his ideas for a revitalization of Sunday Mass, I’d like to propose the rejuvenation of the family meal. I think there is a parallel here – Sunday Mass is the meal of our faith community, to encourage and build up our faith family. The family meal nourishes each of us, body and soul.

The fast pace of modern life has eroded the family meal. Long hours at work or school; rushing here and there for a myriad of hobbies or extracurricular activities; pressure to do more, see more, work more, play more – there just aren’t enough hours in the day! The pandemic may have slowed our pace of life temporarily, but I have the sense that in 2022, we’re revving back up to speed and perhaps moving even faster because of being pent up during Covid.

The family meal requires planning and commitment. It requires coordination of schedules, give and take, patience, compromise, compassion, and first and foremost, TIME!…which is in very short supply these days. It’s hard to get buy-in from all family members. There will always be something else to do, somewhere else to be, for at least one person in the family. But I think the effort to eat together is so valuable that it is worth the hassle of making it a family priority. Parents, your kids probably won’t jump for joy if you require them to be at a nightly meal. But press on; persevere. The rewards are worth it.

A report in Child Health News, October, 2011, states that with as few as three family meals a week, there was a 12% decrease in childhood obesity. Eating healthy foods increased by 24%, and eating unhealthy foods decreased by 20%. Eating disorders such as anorexia nervosa, decreased by 35%. When children eat meals with their parents, they are less likely to smoke, drink, or use other drugs. More frequent family meals also correlated to children’s greater success in school and better communication skills. The family meal doesn’t solve all problems or guarantee perfect children, but it does provide a regular and dependable nurturing environment in which children can grow and feel loved and cared for.

Even with a houseful of kids (we had six!) and Robert’s unusual work schedule (working many evenings and weekends), we made our family dinner a priority. We had to make some unpopular adjustments – each of our kids was limited to one sport or extracurricular activity at a time. Then we planned around their practice schedules. We talked about our plan each week and expected Dad and Mom and all the kids to be at the supper table at the appointed time. I was a home mom for most of the time we raised our children, so I could cook and carpool and help with getting everyone here and there and home again in time to eat together. Of course, there were times when someone could not be there. This was the exception, though. There was some complaining, but we all showed up, almost all of the time.

The children helped by setting the table, grating cheese or chopping carrots, filling water glasses, playing with the baby so I could finish meal prep. If Robert was home before dinner, he would help cook or entertain the little ones – his specialty! Our meal had a routine – we sang grace, served the food around, and then we asked each one to share three good things about their day, and one challenge or “bad thing.” Now with eight people, that’s a lot of “things” to hear about! Some of us were succinct – “good things” – boom, boom, boom. And “not so good” – boom! Next!

Other of us (no names mentioned) offered more detail. After one child’s 10-minute description of a happy school event, a sibling sighed, “And that was just first period!” There was laughter and occasionally tears; there were words of encouragement and impatient grunts. But what awesome learning occurred – in communication, listening, patience, empathy – great skills for life. Even our dog Ellie cooperated with the family meal. She sat patiently a few feet from the table as we ate, only getting up when we sang our prayer after the meal.

Our kids joke and laugh now about our family dinners. But our memories are mostly good. And each of our children is a great communicator, plus they are honest, forthright, caring and compassionate, and they are outstanding listeners. They were trained by the best – their many siblings!

Jesus gives us inspiration for the family meal. So many of the Gospel stories involve a meal. Here are a few:

Matthew 9 – Jesus eats with tax collectors and sinners, and he tells the Pharisees, “Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do.”

Luke 7 – The dinner at Simon’s house and the repentant woman who washes Jesus’ feet with her tears

Luke 15 – The Prodigal Son and the feast his father throws for him when he returns

John 12 – Dinner with Martha, Mary, and Lazarus

Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22, John 13-14 – The Last Supper

And finally, in John 21, the resurrected Jesus calls to his disciples from the shore of the Sea of Tiberias, “Come, have breakfast.”

One more thought: for the years our children were home, on Saturday evenings we celebrated a Christian Sabbath meal. We read the Sunday Scripture readings and shared a blessing cup / thanksgiving cup. It was good preparation for celebrating with our faith family the next day at Sunday Mass.

At whatever stage your family is, a regular family meal can be a blessing. Perhaps you can eat together five nights a week; maybe only on weekends. That’s okay. Do what works for your family. Maybe your family is “empty nesters” as ours is, or perhaps you live alone.

Robert and I eat as many meals together as we can; and we look for opportunities to include family, friends, and neighbors. Whatever your family situation, the “family meal” is lovely and life-giving and certainly worth the effort.

(Keeping the family meal alive during the pandemic with a winter-time meal outside.)

By Robert Fontana

There is a battle going on in the Catholic Church between the Pope who wants to inspire Catholics to a deeper experience of God in the Mass of Vatican II and traditionalists who want to hold on to the Latin and pre-Vatican II Mass of the 1950’s, inspired by the Council of Trent (1545-63). I am with Pope Francis. Let’s let go of the old rite and its overemphasis on ritual and the exaggerated role of the priest; let’s embrace the Vatican II rite that is in a language people understand and situates the priest within the community of believers who together pray the Mass. Yes, the priest consecrates the bread and wine into the body and blood of Jesus, but together we celebrate and pray the Mass in Word and Sacrament.

I am sympathetic to a traditionalist’s critique of the Vatican II liturgy: the changes of Vatican II have caused the Mass to lose its sense of mystery, its culture of encounter with the divine. I somewhat agree; but I don’t think a return to the pre-Vatican II Mass is the  answer. As I see it, Catholics are hungry for community; and the Sunday Eucharist has evolved to meet that relationship need. Prayer, both personal and communal, can seem to get lost. I get it; intimacy and communion with God is lacking.

What to do? Here’s what I think.

Quiet, sung prayer before Mass. 10-15 minutes before Mass begins, let worship begin with simple, repetitive sung chants. Chants from Taize in Latin or English would be perfect for this, e.g. Jesus, remember me… Children can be included by teaching them simple hand motions to these chants. Sing the Psalm response for that day’s liturgy; it can help the faith community to learn it and participate more fully during the Mass. (If your parish has a vibrant singing history, use the songs the people know.)

Process with the Gospels. The priest ought to begin Mass at his chair, greet the people, and invite all to stand and welcome the Book of the Gospels as it is processed into the church. There is no need for the priest to process into the church like a European monarch with his ministers in tow, the model upon which the current Mass procession is based.

Sunday Mass has too many readings! Three readings and a Psalm response are too much for one person to present in a homily and too much for the people to grasp. Especially when children are present, the presider ought to have the option of dropping the second reading. which often does not relate to the Gospel. Sing the Alleluia both before and after the proclamation of the Gospel to draw the congregation back into full and active engagement.

Focus preaching. Again, as a rule, there are too many readings for the priest or deacon to preach on effectively. The homilist ought to focus on one reading and really work it, sometimes line-by-line, to draw out its meaning for the time it was written and its relevance for us today. 10-12 minutes is all that the homilist needs to give the congregation the one or two points that he wants them to remember. And please, homilist, if there are children and youth present, direct your comments to them. Then let there be a time of silence following the homily.

Preaching teams. Why not identify preaching talent among the lay women and men ofthe parish and bring their wisdom to bear during the Sunday homily? According to the rules of the liturgy, the priest/deacon can invite      anyone to help him in his duties to preach the Word of God. (I was part of a preaching team at my former parish in West Seattle.)

Sing the Creed! In the ebb and flow of the Mass, the reading of the Scriptures followed by the preaching of the homily are the most passive times for the    congregation. Reading / reciting the Creed does little to draw the congregation into the Mass. LET’S SING IT! Or let us sing a refrain, with a cantor singing the words of the creed. The most participatory singing at Mass is not usually with the choir hymns, but with the parts of the Mass (Holy, Holy; Lamb of God; Alleluia; Amen, Our Father) that all the people know by heart. Let’s sing the Mass, including the Creed!

Find a prayerful way to involve the children. Have them lead a part of the Mass such as the Eucharistic Acclamation or the Lamb of God and include sign language. This is not a performance. Children leading songs with accompanying hand motions can be intensely prayerful.

Quiet prayer after communion. As communion ends, please, don’t miss this time of prayer and intimacy by watching the presider wash the sacred  vessels (chalice and paten). Move the washing of vessels to after Mass. The time after communion is an important time when the music minister or priest   presider can invite each person to draw close to Jesus who has just given himself to all in the Eucharist.   Repeat a simple Taize chant, the Psalm response, or a familiar refrain like “Shepherd me, O God…,” for the next 2-3 minutes. Some parishes sing the Anima Christi (Soul of Christ, sanctify me…).

Closure. This is a good time for announcements, to welcome newcomers, and to remind all that the Lord Jesus is with us right now to help us go forth to be the Good News in the world.

Sunday Mass is the ordinary place where Catholics gather to encounter the risen Jesus present in one another, the proclamation of the Word, and the reception of the Eucharist. Other opportunities need to be developed to assist parishioners to socially connect with one another. Some simple changes can help this happen.