Spiritual Direction
By Robert Fontana
Your relationship with God is the most basic relationship in your life. Whether or not you came to faith in a dramatic way as an adult, or you grew into the faith that was given to you since childhood, your most fundamental identity as a person comes from this relationship: you are a child of God, a disciple of Jesus, and a temple of the Holy Spirit. In times of heartbreak and sorrow, this relationship brings you comfort, solace, and hope. At other times, when things are going well, your relationship with God inspires you toward gratitude and generosity. You want to give to others in the measure that God has given to you.
You give your relationship with God time and attention. You take time for private prayer, to be alone with God, to listen to what God is saying to you during Adoration, in Scripture, in the writings of the saints, and in the writings of people of wisdom today. And you make time to meet with others in prayer, to listen and learn from them, and to offer each other mutual support.
Still, sometimes, in spite of the robust spiritual life that you have developed, you get stuck. Perhaps you lose focus because life has gotten so busy and demanding that you find it hard to hear God speak to you. It may be that you are experiencing a particular struggle in a relationship or an issue at work, and you are uncertain about the right thing to do. Or is maybe you simply have a deep hunger for God, and what you are currently doing to nurture that hunger seems inadequate.
What to do? Go to spiritual direction.
Spiritual direction is an ancient practice in the Christian community. Over centuries, it has been sought out by individuals (and groups) seeking a deeper communion with God and a greater clarity in how to live out this relationship within the circumstances and events of life. In spiritual direction, a Christian invites an elder in the Christian life, someone whose example and wisdom one respects, to walk with her / him on the spiritual journey. Today, most spiritual directors have specific training in that art. However, that need not be the case. Some people become spiritual directors on the strength of their lived experience and wisdom. Men and women seek them out because the Holy Spirit is obviously with them.
Spiritual directors are, like all of us, sinners struggling to be saints. They have not obtained perfect union with God, but they are working on it with all their sins and limitations. Also, the spiritual director does not tell the directee what to do. He or she acts more like a spiritual mid-wife, helping the directee to “give birth” to the new person she / he want to become in Christ by:
- a)listening deeply to the directee,to the hopes, longings, joys, disappointments, confusions, sufferings, and sorrows that are being experienced;
- b) assisting the directee in listening to the Spirit andhelping her / him distinguish the voice of the Spirit from other voices vying for attention;
- c) and walking with the directee as he / she continues to discern his / her relationship with God and God’s will for his / her life as events and relationships unfold.
Wait a minute, what if I’m a newcomer to the spiritual life? Can I benefit from spiritual direction? Of course you can. My first informal spiritual directors were my parents. They were the first people to whom I brought my questions of faith and wonderings of what to do about my longings for God. I remember telling my mom about a dream I had in which I met the Old Testament prophet Hosea. During the dream my whole body was filled with love and joy. Mom suggested that dream meant that God was coming into my life, and that I should pray for the “baptism of the Holy Spirit.” I did.
My next spiritual director was our associate pastor, Fr. Ronald Groth. I listened to his homilies and followed his suggestions about how one might grow in the spiritual life. I went to him with my questions on how to pray. He encouraged me to begin praying by inviting the Holy Spirit into whatever situation I was praying for. He also encouraged me to pray Psalm 23. I followed his direction, every morning before going to high school and every night before going to sleep.
My first formal spiritual director was Fr. Ambrose at St. Joseph Seminary during my freshman and sophomore years in college. He encouraged me to spend time at a river and allow nature to quiet my busy mind and teach me to listen to God speak in creation. With his guidance I experienced a wonderful communion with God during the Lent of my freshman year; the following year I discerned that I should leave the seminary. It was a very difficult decision because I knew that I would disappoint my family, especially my mother. When I entered the seminary, she told me, “I prayed for 25 years that one of my sons would become a priest.”
I can’t say that I was very mature about telling her that I wasn’t called to the priesthood. I didn’t, tell her directly, but word got to her through one of my siblings. Mom was quite upset and quite sure that God wanted me to be a priest. I disagreed. Six weeks after leaving the seminary, I met Lori who, one and a half years later, would become my wife. And before Lori and I decided to marry, we met with a spiritual director, Fr. Dennis Berry, ST. We told Fr. Dennis, “We think we want to get married, but we want to do God’s will for our lives.” Fr. Dennis helped us to prayerfully discern; and now this year is our 43rd year of married bliss and blisters.
Spiritual direction is for anyone who wants to mature and grow in the spiritual life. The goal of spiritual direction is very simple: to discover who I am in Christ, and to grow into that person as discern His will within the relationships and circumstances of life.
Schedule an appointment: Email Robert@catholiclifeministries.org During the pandemic, my appointments are via tele-health (Zoom). I have openings Tuesdays – Fridays, Noon – 7 pm, and the first and third Saturdays of the month, 8 am – 1 pm, Pacific Time. Include your cell/phone number, and share briefly why you are seeking spiritual direction.
Cost: $75 for a 50-minute session. A sliding fee scale is available for those who are on fixed incomes, unemployed, or under-employed.
